Celebrate Your Self!

Sir and I are constantly asked about the tale of our first meeting. Strangers on the street have done complete 360s when they pass us by, returning to harass us in the most polite way possible on how we met, because they too would like to make such a striking couple with the man of their fantasies.

And I can see why. Me, an effervescent youthful thing with a model-like form in my Carnegie Mellon sweatshirt. Sir is always dapper in fitted navy blue pin-striped suits that play off his salt and pepper hair heightened by the luminous aura of success. Together we are like caviar on top of dried shark fin- pure elegance and expensive.

Because I have been blessed with the gift of gab and I look good, during my first couple of years in the city I was constantly being invited to be the plus one at one event after another. Whether it was a charity ball, a foundation awards ceremony or a music mogul's daughters Bat Mitzvah or two I was sure to be there. The food always made up for the inconvenience of not being invited directly.



I discovered Ostrich burgers, Robiola Bosina cheese and surprisingly artichoke dip. At a certain event Sir and I reached for the same glass of Cristal from the server at the same time! We have been inseparable since except when he goes on business trips to earn more money for us.


I don't need any gifts for our anniversary since I have full access to the Black Amex card. Instead we have taken to scoring invites to events or socials to recreate our special moment. Our anniversary is still a couple of weeks away, but were asked to be the guests of an invited person to the Save the Beluga Whale and Casino Night Gala at the Waldorf this evening so Happy Anniversary to us.

Next post is the Kept Boy Cookbook's 10 post anniversary. I will be preparing a very special fusion meal dinner party to celebrate. Join me.





21! We Win!

Modern Night Ho-Down

So the art party was adorable. I highly recommend Brooklyn. My driver told me tons of people live there.

To date, I have dutifully memorized literally dozens and dozens of songs. I like to be Karaoke ready. In group Karaoke sessions once in a while I look at the monitor because it gives better Karaoke ambiance when you don't know all the words. I think it adds a sense of frivolity plus, Karaoke isn't a piano bar where you have to be more amazing than other people.

For my butch moments I have locked down the likes of Bruce Springsteen, The Rolling Stones - I (Can't Get No) Satisfaction anyone! and the collective inspiration that is Journey. The diva in me is prepared to drop a Whitney, a Tina, a Cher, a Christina, but not a Britney as a protest to all the queens who refuse to explore anything else like I do. I also mix it up with some 90s Brit pop such as Blurr and Desiree. I have never met a hipster boy whose tight acid washed jeans didn't moist and crumble off when I started singing "you gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser."

This evening I am throwing my regular Karaoke sessions at our home. I have invited Hector and his current play toy Bear Johnny, the couple across the hall Luc and Nadia, they are amazing humans and cooks and I will tell you more about them another day, Agatha, the kids Pepi and Pepe and Sir who promised he will join us after a late meeting. Pepi has been feeling shallow since his doggy spa day treatment this afternoon and plans to settle in early but Pepe will chirp along to his favorite singer Enya. Early Madonna is banned for the rest of us because that is Agatha's territory. She claims the middle years aren't ripe for her Karaoke styling and the later years aren't due until 2016.

For this favorite Japanese past time I will be serving an array of Asian treats.

The Gummy Bears of Asia: Kiwi flavored Gummi candies taste great. They even have little seeds in them, they are so good that it's impossible to eat just one.


The Popcorn of Asia: Arare or “hailstones” is a type of bite-sized Japanese cracker made from glutinous rice and flavored with soy sauce.

The Twix of Asia: Yan-Yan is a Japanese snack food that comes in a package with two compartments. One side has biscuit sticks or cracker sticks, and the other has chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla yogurt flavored frosting used for dipping.

The Cookie of Asia: Rice Cracker Cookies satisfy that complicated simultaneous craving for both salty and sweet, though the taste does lean more towards the former than the latter. The rich cookie shatters to reveal a more than generous smattering of crushed orange rice inside, while the outer coat is drizzled with a sweet sugar glaze.

The Peanuts of Asia: Edamame is a preparation of baby soybeans in the pod commonly found in Japan, China, and Korea. The pods are boiled in water together with condiments such as salt and served whole.

Sir missed the party. But before bed and sex we sang together that Desiree song. Friends and Lovers "All I know, all I know, love will save the day."

Profitable Flavor(s)

As a proud advocate of the non-profit industry, being in one myself, I make it a habit to donate not only my time but my energy to the cause(s). Sir and I have participated in a cruise-a-thon for endangered Caribbean Monk Seals while passing through the Gulf of Mexico; a dance-a-thon dedicated to preserving the South China Tiger when doing the prerequisite two month vacation during first year dating thing, a sit-in for the people of Tibet and several Museum of Natural History silent auctions. And no offense to my beloved Museum but my favorite thus far has got to be the charity fashion show for the ASPCA. Pepi and Pepe brought out the Ooo in Pooch(es).

This evening Sir and I will attend a festival opening at an evidently quite reputable performing arts institution in Brooklyn. My driver assures me he knows how to get there and knows which bridge to take, but just in case I will print out Mapquest directions to and from the institution. These functions in the non-profit world are fabulous because we are not expected to give money (at this time) but we can drink liberally from their stash of champagnes, wines and beers and eat Gouda, blue cheese and smoked meets on sweet crackers and dill breads.

Being who we are, people will want to talk to us and look at us, so we wont be able to snack to make a complete meal. Instead, it is best to have a proper Kept Boy dinner first. One that is satisfying yet light enough to enjoy a few non-profit snack(s). I generally go with a fish dish such as Tilapia. Farm Raised Tilapia is meaty, delicious, and available all year long.

Tasty Tilapia

The Ingredients:





-4 large Tilapia Fillets (rinsed and patted dry)







-1/2 stick of Butter (or 1 tbsp for each fillet)
-6 Garlic Cloves (minced)
-1/2 tsp of Paprika
-1/4 tsp of Salt
-1/4 tsp of Black Pepper
-1 tbsp of Dried Parsley
-1/2 the Juice of one Lemon



In a small saucepan over med/low heat, melt the Butter.



Add the Garlic and Sauté for about one minute.




Add the Paprika, Salt, and Pepper and stir. Continue heating for another minute. This will make a buttery, garlicky, smoky Paprika Marinade for the fish.




Place the Tilapia Fillets on a baking sheet. Using a pastry brush, Cover one side of the Fillets with the Marinade.



Flip the fillets over and again cover the other side of the Fillets with the Marinade. Use all of the Marinade and spread any of the extra garlic pieces from the Marinade over the top of the fish.

Sprinkle the Dried Parsley over the fish.




Squeeze the Juice of half of a fresh lemon over the fish making sure to remove any lemon seeds that might have fallen in.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees as you let the Tilapia marinade for about 10 minutes.



Bake for 30 minutes until the fish is well cooked.

A well rounded Kept Boy should be as refined as a work of art. Oh- don't forget the breath mints after eating a fish dinner. Cheers!

Model-Like Light

P.S. I look fabulous in the Yves sweater purchased from BergGood. I know this because Agatha positively swooned when I walked into the library as she was gchatting with her Internet boyfriend. I told her not to tell her boyfriend how good I looked because he might start falling in love with me. I swear it's happened before. She told me to take a walk.

I decided to take a stroll around my 'hood to give the sweater a little test wear, and on the way, why not, pick up a Kept Boy meal. Then on Fifth Avenue I noticed a male model type appear in front of me. He has the big feet, the big head, the I don't-give-a-whatever walk and the one day wardrobe I would sleep with a women for. The regular people around us must have thought a runway show just let out when I realized I was matching the male model type step for step up Fifth Avenue. Neither one of us dared look to each other unless we ruin the euphoria for the rest of them.

As soon as I appeared in his life I had moved on to get the perfect model like afternoon meal - a cup of coffee, purchased from a food cart, to be just like any average person - like you!
-served Black, light Skim Milk, one packet of Equal

Remember gang, everywhere else in the world models are on billboards, in New York, I may be found right around the corner.

Sir Makes a Bad

Sir made a rare lovebirds faux-pas by not buying me what I expected him to from his recent trip abroad. He went to parts of Asia and I requested via a hand written list: a stone mortar and pestle, a sticky rice serving basket, one large wok and twin smaller ones, a bamboo steamer set, a kimchi refrigerator which would be shipped later of course I'm not ridiculous, a variety of ladles, a variety of mooncake molds, a kratong tong mold (in bras), a 3.5 quart clay pot, a sansi in cast iron for that rustic French look I'm cultivating now adays and many, many more items. And as I said, this was on a hand written note by me.

Instead, after the novelty of Sir being back home wore off and I noticed there was not a new giant piece of luggage that would hold all my wants, Sir as usual giggled mischievously. I only request major items like once every few days unlike some people I know so I was a little ticked. Agatha pulls out a Y-3 duffel bag from his travel belongings and from that reveals a pair of Y-3 boat shoes, three Giuliano Fujiwara sports coats, two pairs of Thakoon jeans, a vintage Woo Young Mi t-shirt, and I swear a pair of Anuj Sharma sunglasses that nobody east of east Berlin has.

Apparently I already own all of those cooking utensils including the kimchi refrigerator which Agatha uses often but still. Sir is not taking my cooking seriously by instead buying me things that I would want rather than things I cobbled together from grandpa Internet.

Heavy with a case of the sads I'm making pot roast tonight. the length of time it takes will allow me to nap using the Anuj Sharma sunglasses to hide my tears. Agatha will probably be pulling out the meat from the kimchi refrigerator.

Kanashii (I'm Sad) Pot Roast

The Ingredients:







-2 and a half pounds of Roast














-1 small Onion (sliced)
-6 cloves of Garlic (crushed)






-3 tbsp of all purpose Flour
-1/4 tsp of Salt
-1/4 tsp of Pepper
-1/2 tsp of Thyme
-1/4 tsp of Adobo Seasoning 3 tbsp of Olive Oil
-1 14.5 ounce can of Chicken Broth


Coat the Roast evenly on all sides with the Flour.






Braise the Roast on all sides in a large heavy bottomed pot or Dutch oven using the Olive Oil. You want the meat to have a good crust.


Remove the roast from the pot and set aside. To the same pot, add the Onions and Garlic and saute till the Onions are translucent.


Add the Roast back to the pot.




Pour in the Chicken Broth and all of the Seasonings. Bring the pot to a boil.


Cover, Reduce the heat to low, and simmer for 5 hours flipping occasionally until the Roast is tender and falling apart.

I know my life would've been just a little easier if I had two kimchi refrigerators.

The Sir is Back in Town!

Just as the post title declares The Sir is back in town, the Sir is back town! Freshly landed from somewhere foreign and evidently having secured a huge lucrative deal he is taking a full day and a half off work. You know what that means - lots of lasagna meals. Just kidding. We will be in fact having lots of sex. Between that I will be making his favorite meal. Sir just giggled real cute and told me his favorite meal is cereal and that he would like me to make him a delicious bowl of grape nuts with soy milk. I don't think he fully understands the full spectrum of my skills yet.

His favorite meal is indeed breakfast but not boring old cereal (though sometimes very appropriate and will be included in a future kept boy way I'm sure). I'm going to make a coming home Baked Egg Frittata.

Enjoy Sir and Everyone Else that partakes.

The Ingredients:


-1 and ½ cups Potatoes O’Brien with Onions and Peppers (frozen hash browns or home fries)
-½ pound of Pork Breakfast Sausage (1/2 the Jimmy Dean Roll)
-6 whole Eggs and 6 Egg Whites (1 dozen eggs total) beaten
Seasoned lightly with salt and pepper







-1 small Onion (diced)
-1 Large Tomato (sliced)
-1 handful of Baby Spinach Leaves









-1/3 cup of Shredded Mixed Cheeses
-1/4 Tsp of Seasoned Salt
-1 pat of Butter








Preheat the oven to 350 Degrees.

In a large skillet over medium heat, brown the Sausage. Drain the grease and set aside.

Saute the Onions with a pat of Butter until translucent.

Add the Potatoes O’Brien and the Seasoned Salt and toss. Brown the potatoes slightly. DO NOT STIR THE POTATOES TOO MUCH OR YOU WILL END UP WITH MUSH!!

Add the Sausage to the Potatoes, toss again, and remove from heat.

Lightly coat an 11 X 7 Pyrex or Casserole baking dish with non-stick cooking spray. (Pyrex works well because you can see through it and see if the Frittata is done on the bottom of the pan or not).

Pour the Sausage/Potato Mixture evenly into the bottom of the baking dish.

Layer the slices of Tomato over the mixture.



Top the Tomato layer evenly with the shredded cheeses.

Pour the 12 beaten Eggs over the layers.

Sprinkle the handful of Baby Spinach leaves over the top of the Eggs. Using a fork, lightly press the Spinach leaves into the Egg.

Bake for 40 minutes checking often to keep it from burning. Once the bottom appears to be cooked and only the top or top middle section is still runny, switch the oven off and turn the broiler on. Broil for an additional 10 minutes until all of the Egg is cooked through and just starting to brown on top.



Next time I will tell you what Sir got me from his trip, though I had asked for something food related he completely disobeyed me. Sir is not taking me seriously at all and that is bringing on the Sads)