Model-Like Light

P.S. I look fabulous in the Yves sweater purchased from BergGood. I know this because Agatha positively swooned when I walked into the library as she was gchatting with her Internet boyfriend. I told her not to tell her boyfriend how good I looked because he might start falling in love with me. I swear it's happened before. She told me to take a walk.

I decided to take a stroll around my 'hood to give the sweater a little test wear, and on the way, why not, pick up a Kept Boy meal. Then on Fifth Avenue I noticed a male model type appear in front of me. He has the big feet, the big head, the I don't-give-a-whatever walk and the one day wardrobe I would sleep with a women for. The regular people around us must have thought a runway show just let out when I realized I was matching the male model type step for step up Fifth Avenue. Neither one of us dared look to each other unless we ruin the euphoria for the rest of them.

As soon as I appeared in his life I had moved on to get the perfect model like afternoon meal - a cup of coffee, purchased from a food cart, to be just like any average person - like you!
-served Black, light Skim Milk, one packet of Equal

Remember gang, everywhere else in the world models are on billboards, in New York, I may be found right around the corner.

Sir Makes a Bad

Sir made a rare lovebirds faux-pas by not buying me what I expected him to from his recent trip abroad. He went to parts of Asia and I requested via a hand written list: a stone mortar and pestle, a sticky rice serving basket, one large wok and twin smaller ones, a bamboo steamer set, a kimchi refrigerator which would be shipped later of course I'm not ridiculous, a variety of ladles, a variety of mooncake molds, a kratong tong mold (in bras), a 3.5 quart clay pot, a sansi in cast iron for that rustic French look I'm cultivating now adays and many, many more items. And as I said, this was on a hand written note by me.

Instead, after the novelty of Sir being back home wore off and I noticed there was not a new giant piece of luggage that would hold all my wants, Sir as usual giggled mischievously. I only request major items like once every few days unlike some people I know so I was a little ticked. Agatha pulls out a Y-3 duffel bag from his travel belongings and from that reveals a pair of Y-3 boat shoes, three Giuliano Fujiwara sports coats, two pairs of Thakoon jeans, a vintage Woo Young Mi t-shirt, and I swear a pair of Anuj Sharma sunglasses that nobody east of east Berlin has.

Apparently I already own all of those cooking utensils including the kimchi refrigerator which Agatha uses often but still. Sir is not taking my cooking seriously by instead buying me things that I would want rather than things I cobbled together from grandpa Internet.

Heavy with a case of the sads I'm making pot roast tonight. the length of time it takes will allow me to nap using the Anuj Sharma sunglasses to hide my tears. Agatha will probably be pulling out the meat from the kimchi refrigerator.

Kanashii (I'm Sad) Pot Roast

The Ingredients:







-2 and a half pounds of Roast














-1 small Onion (sliced)
-6 cloves of Garlic (crushed)






-3 tbsp of all purpose Flour
-1/4 tsp of Salt
-1/4 tsp of Pepper
-1/2 tsp of Thyme
-1/4 tsp of Adobo Seasoning 3 tbsp of Olive Oil
-1 14.5 ounce can of Chicken Broth


Coat the Roast evenly on all sides with the Flour.






Braise the Roast on all sides in a large heavy bottomed pot or Dutch oven using the Olive Oil. You want the meat to have a good crust.


Remove the roast from the pot and set aside. To the same pot, add the Onions and Garlic and saute till the Onions are translucent.


Add the Roast back to the pot.




Pour in the Chicken Broth and all of the Seasonings. Bring the pot to a boil.


Cover, Reduce the heat to low, and simmer for 5 hours flipping occasionally until the Roast is tender and falling apart.

I know my life would've been just a little easier if I had two kimchi refrigerators.

The Sir is Back in Town!

Just as the post title declares The Sir is back in town, the Sir is back town! Freshly landed from somewhere foreign and evidently having secured a huge lucrative deal he is taking a full day and a half off work. You know what that means - lots of lasagna meals. Just kidding. We will be in fact having lots of sex. Between that I will be making his favorite meal. Sir just giggled real cute and told me his favorite meal is cereal and that he would like me to make him a delicious bowl of grape nuts with soy milk. I don't think he fully understands the full spectrum of my skills yet.

His favorite meal is indeed breakfast but not boring old cereal (though sometimes very appropriate and will be included in a future kept boy way I'm sure). I'm going to make a coming home Baked Egg Frittata.

Enjoy Sir and Everyone Else that partakes.

The Ingredients:


-1 and ½ cups Potatoes O’Brien with Onions and Peppers (frozen hash browns or home fries)
-½ pound of Pork Breakfast Sausage (1/2 the Jimmy Dean Roll)
-6 whole Eggs and 6 Egg Whites (1 dozen eggs total) beaten
Seasoned lightly with salt and pepper







-1 small Onion (diced)
-1 Large Tomato (sliced)
-1 handful of Baby Spinach Leaves









-1/3 cup of Shredded Mixed Cheeses
-1/4 Tsp of Seasoned Salt
-1 pat of Butter








Preheat the oven to 350 Degrees.

In a large skillet over medium heat, brown the Sausage. Drain the grease and set aside.

Saute the Onions with a pat of Butter until translucent.

Add the Potatoes O’Brien and the Seasoned Salt and toss. Brown the potatoes slightly. DO NOT STIR THE POTATOES TOO MUCH OR YOU WILL END UP WITH MUSH!!

Add the Sausage to the Potatoes, toss again, and remove from heat.

Lightly coat an 11 X 7 Pyrex or Casserole baking dish with non-stick cooking spray. (Pyrex works well because you can see through it and see if the Frittata is done on the bottom of the pan or not).

Pour the Sausage/Potato Mixture evenly into the bottom of the baking dish.

Layer the slices of Tomato over the mixture.



Top the Tomato layer evenly with the shredded cheeses.

Pour the 12 beaten Eggs over the layers.

Sprinkle the handful of Baby Spinach leaves over the top of the Eggs. Using a fork, lightly press the Spinach leaves into the Egg.

Bake for 40 minutes checking often to keep it from burning. Once the bottom appears to be cooked and only the top or top middle section is still runny, switch the oven off and turn the broiler on. Broil for an additional 10 minutes until all of the Egg is cooked through and just starting to brown on top.



Next time I will tell you what Sir got me from his trip, though I had asked for something food related he completely disobeyed me. Sir is not taking me seriously at all and that is bringing on the Sads)

Nature Preserve

Once there was a famous Broadway director, or was he a writer or choreographer, may be just a, no I think he was a writer. In any case he was famous and did very few and perfect works. In his twilight years he spent his days walking to and from his Village apartment to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. When I discovered this anecdote I realized I had been doing something similar with walking to the Museum of Natural History. As I enter my Grace Kelly years I have reduced the number drastically because for me frequency of experience tends to dim the quality. Maybe subconsciously that is why I don’t mind Sir traveling so often. I will ask my astrologer Keith to analyze that for me.

The techno disco frog exhibit is to die for and the dinosaur wing on the upper level makes humanity appear even more special for being able to capture well something they have never seen before.

Today I will walk up with Pepi and Pepe. Agatha will come stop by in a car once I get there to take the young gentlemen back home. And when I get back home, my mind filled with stars and moss and sugar gliders all I want is dessert. Especially Green Frog Pie (Dendrobates Auratus Pie). I created this dessert in honor of my favorite frog in the exhibit, the Poison Arrow Dart Frog. It incorporates the same colors as the frog, and something this decadent should be considered poisonous!

The Ingredients:



-1.5 Quarts Gourmet Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream








-1 Chocolate Pie Shell
-1 Bottle of Magic Shell ice cream topping
-1 Dark Chocolate Candy Bar Infused with flavor (I like Mayan Dark Chocolate infused with Orange and Spice)
-Fresh Mint Leaves for Garnish


Scoop tiny balls of Ice Cream using a cookie scooper and create a single layer of Ice Cream on the bottom of the pie crust. Wet the scooper as necessary.

Coat every other scoop of Ice Cream with Magic Shell. This will ensure a decadent flavor and crunch throughout the pie.



Freeze the pie and the quart of Ice Cream for about 5 minutes to keep it from getting too soft.

Remove the pie from the freezer and continue to scoop the rest of the Ice Cream in little scoops evenly over the top of the pie.

By the time you are done scooping the rest of the Ice Cream into the pie, it should be soft enough to smooth over with a frosting spatula.

Return the pie to the freezer for 10 minutes to harden.


Using the Magic Shell, create an artistic design over the top of the pie.



Grate about ¼ of the Flavor Infused Chocolate Bar

and sprinkle over the Pie.



Return the pie to the freezer for 1-2 hours to ensure the Ice Cream sets.

Slice and garnish with Chocolate and Mint Leaves.


And just as a precious aside, Bill Cunningham On the Street (which I have been a featured surprise participant many times) said this changing of the season to fall is clothed in black and white. Pepi and Pepe feel so with it. I gave them black and white biscuits to celebrate their au courant fabulousness.

See you this weekend for brunch gang!

Moving and Digesting

Bye to another lazy Sunday and hello to a busy week. Given my week's hectic schedule I have to pack a bunch of errands and appointments in one day. I need a new pair of fall sunglasses from Comme de Garcon, A gray Yves St. Laurent sweater I'll probably just pick up at Bergdorf Goodman, a selection of wines and scotch for my Sir to savor upon his return that I'll get from that Astor place wine mega mall everyone seams to adore. Biscuits for our two dalmatians Pepi and Pepe, and a birthday gift, a bag to be exact, for Sir's adorable niece Tulip, from Le Sportsac. To top it all off I have a 1pm sharp appointment with my chiropractor Dr. Lenore and a 5ish timeslot with my astrologer Keith.

Ahhh, I do too much.

There is no way I'll be able to squeeze a couple of hours of lunch at a corner bistro through that mess or prepare a substantial meal at home before hand. But with the right snack I can get through all of it, and you know what, so could you. My housekeeper slash goddess Agatha that Sir got me for Valentine's Day last year organized a fantastic snack for me.

Pomme et Fromage

Agatha's Ingredients:


-Freshly picked Apples (it is apple picking season you know)
-1 plump Lemon





-1 Wedge of full fat Brie (Agatha says if you are going to eat cheese, enjoy it-none of the skim or low fat stuff)

Agatha's Tools:

-Apple Slicer (it cuts the slices evenly AND removes the core which contains cyanide in the seeds!)
-Sharp Knife



Wash the Apples and slice them using the Apple Slicer. Squeeze a bit of fresh Lemon Juice over the Apples to keep them from browning. Beware! If you are allergic to sulfates, Lemon Juice is a sulfate!

Pack the apple slices in a cute Tupperware with the Brie.

(Thank goodness Agatha did it all for me)

When you are ready to snack, cut a slice of Brie and place on an Apple slice. Enjoy!

The Lemon, Apple, Brie combo is a refreshing pick-me-up snack.

Keep on trucking everyone. I've got a great little dessert for you next time for enjoying after or before one of my most favorite activities.